bittersweet

Friday, January 13, 2012

Bittersweet moments

I just returned from Ray’s oldest friend’s birthday party. They have known each other since birth. Her mother, let’s call her Jan, and I have been friends for a very long time.

Jan & I were sitting in this dining area with families all around and Jan noticed that a little boy (about 12-15 months old) looked very much like Ray did when he was that age. He really did. Big melon head with eyes that stared through you (Ray’s eyes took up about half of his head at that age-this kid’s eyes weren’t quite that large)-it took me right back to that age, the age when everything was new and fresh and hopeful.

I love my little man so much. I feel so lucky to be his mom. He’s such a great kid. He always has been.

I know every mother thinks that her kid is the greatest child ever. Well, I’m no exception. Ray has always been such a smiley, easy-to-laugh, fun-loving kid. He knows what he likes and is not afraid to be different. Lucky for us, he goes to a great school where a weird white kid doesn’t get made fun of, but is just one of many weird kids. (I mean weird in the best possible way).

The kid never watched Barney or the Wiggles. He watched videos of Stevie Ray Vaughn and Jimmy Hendrix. He got an electric guitar when he was 3 years old.

He has been watching documentaries on science and history since he was 5 years old.  When his pet lizard died that year, he wanted to mummify him and make a sarcophagus because he had studied how to do that in the various documentaries he had watched about King Tutankhamen.

He has NEVER shown the least bit of interest in sports or athletics, but weekly trips to the library and museum were hours of sheer joy. I have to say that I was more than thrilled to find that my little boy loved doing science experiments and examining insects versus wanting to play little league. Those of you who know me well understand that I have not an athletic bone in my body.

These are all the things that flash through my mind when I see a random little boy who resembles my little man. And I think---my husband and I, we have had our share of problems, but we make a great “one of us.” We made a great person. And I think we deserve the chance to make another, but if we don’t, I have one fantastic boy that I am so proud to call my son.